Today, I Woke Up Early at 5 am

Photo by Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash

Last night, before laying down to sleep, I created a mental alarm in my mind to wake up early at 5 am tomorrow. And this morning, I did woke up at the planned hour with light feeling and I felt so amazing as if I just woke up after a thousand year of sleep .

Since the past months of last year, I have been rarely wake up early in the morning before 6 am and instead I usually woke up at 7 to 8.30 am with a heavy sleepy head and sticky eyes. After waking up from bed with such condition, I would rush my self to do everything as instant as possible. Measure, wash and cook the rice on rice-cooker and while it is plugged on I would made the bedroom, swept the floor, boil water in the electric kettle while thinking about what to wear today to office and whether I should iron the clothes I choose.

I would then continue rush myself into bathing quickly, brush my teeth (and wash my hair if necessary), wash the underwear and drip-drying them onto the clothes line. After that, I would run into the room quickly to dry myself from the remaining bathing water drops with the towel, applied some lotion in body before I could change the clothes and get myself ready as quickly as possible as if I am chasing by somebody in this such a rush. I would style my hair in the most simple hair style, mostly clipped or tied high bun and put some bobby pins in my front head hair to make the calm the flying strands. I had a curly hair with flying strands. After the hair do, the next thing is make up and to minimize time I would only apply moisturizer and a lib gloss and the last touch is to spray a perfume before grabbing my bag and the wet towel when went out from the room and locked it. I would choose my pair shoes-of-day, mostly flat shoes or sandals with low heels and after hang the towel onto the clothes line to let it dry, I would leave the house to office with a sun-glass covering my eyes from the hot weather in Dili, Timor-Leste.

Such a rushing messy morning. After staying in office the whole day and deal with a lot of work stress and life stress, I would go home drained and exhausted. I do drink water to hydrate myself but not as mush as it should be to hydrate a drained person. I would take a bath, change clothes, prepare dinner or do some shopping at the nearby shops before preparing dinner. After dinner is ready, I would eat or drink a light junk-food while trying to have a conversation with my partner which turned to be a very short dialogue with no further interactions. My partner would be busy with his phone in the attempt to avoid the serious conversation that may turn down his mood of discussing and analyzing issues in our relationship. With such response, I would automatically letting him know that dinner is ready and we both would eat in silence sometimes watching some boring TV channels. After dinner, I would expect my partner to wash the dish which sometimes made him gaze me in an unpleasant look. But he did do the dishes afterward.

After watching his favorite channel, he would then lay down in the bed leaving a space for me while I turned off the light. I crawled onto the bed and sleep with my back turned to him who also turned his back to me as if we both are forming letter X with our bodies. While he is snoring in the deep sleep, my eyes are wide open evaluating how I have spent my days in exhaustion. Why I felt as if I am dragged? Why I have to sleep tonight and go to work tomorrow to repeat the routine and many more why come to my mind until I realized it has been 12.00 am and I should force my eyes to shut down for sleep. It continued remain like that for many months and I know for sure that I have been indulging myself into the bad habit of sleep. Tomorrow, I will be wake up in a sleep head again.

Today, as I started my first week of the new year, I realized I have to change the habit chain. As I woke up, I could hear the bird chirping, the local vegetables sellers playing the musing loudly from their sales cart. I woke up, evaluate my feeling and I feel better. Much better though I do not know what will happen today. I went out to catch the veggies salesman to buy some vegetables which cost me only 1 USD. Now, I realized that if continue to wake up at this hour I could catch cheaper vegetables sellers and thus help this local seller to earn income rather that I purchase from big Chinese shop who charged extra costs to the local vegetables the sell. I started cooking rice and prepare my lunch box, I drink a glass of water and repeat other routines. My partner still sleeping for he is taking annual leave. Oh how I wish I could extend my annual leave which I have to end due to some important tasks in this week. I bring an apple with me for breakfast at the office, unfortunately I could not manage to prepare a decent one.

At the office, I felt that I could cope better with the atmosphere. There were less pressures but I know this is because it is the beginning of the year. The real pressures will come along during the whole year and I know I have to be ready to bear it. Perhaps, one way to anticipate is to wake up early in the morning at 5 am like today.

#notetoself #shortstory #dailylife

Dili, January 2019

Message from the Earth

Gambar terkait
Geraldo a young 25 years old angel was looking at the Earth-Time-Counter screen when Chiquito another 24 years old angel came to him.
‘Counting time again heh?… Why do you love to spend your time with that stuff? Come with me. Let’s go explore some other place in this Universe of Heaven.’ Chiquito said looked at Geraldo impatiently.
‘Today is 31st October in Earth Siquito…’ Geraldo replied.
‘Yes… and tomorrow will be 1 of November. I know how that Earth-Time-Counter works. So… what?’ Siquito asked.
‘You know what. We both always receive the message from the Earth on 1 November Siquito.’
‘Yeah…we always do. And what should we do with that?’
‘Do you remember what our Great Teacher said in our Life-on-Earth class?’
‘Which one?’
‘That the message we receive from earth is prayers from everyone who lives there as the human being.’
‘Ah… that one. yes..I remember now. What is the matter with that?’
‘I am wondering with the family who sent the message to both of us. I often heard the woman called my name, your name and then she will cry alone. Usually, it is in the early morning or midnight of their earth time. Sometimes I can hear her husband speak a lot of things with me in his loneliness as if I am there with him. Don’t you want to know why they become so?’
‘Hmmmm… perhaps in the past we also took part in their life?’
‘That can be possible. The Great Teacher said the prayers from the earth are the message that reconnects people on earth and angels in heaven. All angels are once sent to earth to live as the human being before return to this Heaven as an angel again.’
‘Maybe we can go the Library to find out our life as human being in the ‘Book of Earth People’?’
‘Yeah… that’s good thing to do. Come on.’

Geraldo and Siquito then went to the Library to find out the Book of Earth People. It took them quite long to find out their names as the human on earth as there are millions of similar names. Siquito almost gives up with the searching but then Geraldo came up with the idea to find out about the family who sent the prayer message. It is easy for them to find out about every human being on Earth as they have access to see it like accessing a worldwide platform of atlas of the world.

Meanwhile, in Earth, a woman was crying silently inside her zinc house. Tomorrow will be 1 November. The day she believes to be The Day of All Angels as what she had learned from the Sunday mass preach. She believes that tomorrow, her late two sons will be visiting her in the form of angel. She wonders how would they look like now if they are still alive. They may have became a well built and handsome young boy. They would be tall, had black hair and sharp eyes and thick eyebrow like the Bollywood stars she usually watches from TV series. She can imagine if they are with her now, she would cook their favorite food, asking them to help her in her kiosk and their father’s kiosk at the market. She would ask them to fix every broken thing in the house. She would ask them to advise their little brother on how to be a well-mannered man. She would see them studying in the university in Dili or one of them may have got a scholarship and study abroad or just studying in Indonesia and the school fee would be paid by their elder sister who is now residing in Dili. Oh… how she miss hearing their manly chatters in the house.
The imagination of them made her think about the past years where they were born as little babies. Things were difficult as food is scarce and money is a luxurious thing during the difficult years of the 80s. She and her family were just returned from their village located near Matebian mountain and surrendered to the Indonesian government. Her husband had to leave her to find a job in another city leaving her with the little daughter and her family to sustain themselves with little money he left. Days kept going and the money left is about to go. She had to find a job to sustain her household. She works in rice-field and got a little share of rice for her family and to sustain her second pregnancy. She had a baby boy, her first baby boy and he is adorably cute. She felt happy though life was still difficult for her. She continues to work in the rice-field and had her relatives looked after the baby. But on the eight-month, the baby passed away after had a high fever. She felt a deep sadness for the lost. Her husband returned from the other city and he too felt sorry for the lost. He wished he could be always there with her wife.
Starting new page of her life after the loss, one day she found out that she was pregnant again. She was so happy and she tried not work too hard. She had another baby boy, the second baby boy. She believed the baby was the reincarnation of her first baby. This time she dedicated all her time to be with the baby though she had to try to live frugally with little money which sometimes not enough to buy a bag of rice. Her husband then came and brought her to move to the other city where he lives. The baby grew healthily. But one day, at his tenth month, the baby has a high fever and has to stay during a week in the hospital for treatment. She felt a huge fear haunting her again. Deep in her heart, she asked the God to not take away her baby. But life had another response to her request. The hospital tried to refer her baby to a bigger hospital in another city that took two hours trip. On the way, the baby passed away. She lost her baby again.
It’s been a while when she sat at the back of the shelf and crying but then she quickly has to stop when somebody calling said ‘Kiosk’, a code word means to buy something. It’s a customer. She then rubbed her teary eyes with the handkerchief before she met the customer. There, two young boys with age around 25 and 24 years old stand there looked at her silently for a moment.
‘Yes.. .what do you want to buy?’ She asked them.
‘Two coca cola and a pack of biscuit.’ One of them said. The woman picked the mentioned stuff and handed to them. They both sit on the verandah in front of her kiosk* and eat. It was a hot midday. She stands from the window of the kiosk and looked at them. She felt as if her two late sons are still alive, they may age like these two boys. She saw how they eat the biscuit. She could feel that they were hungry. Without knowing why she felt pity for them.
She then went into the house. She came back with two plates of rice with stir-fried vegetables and fried chicken. The two boys still sat there. She called to the two boys, offered the meal and hand over the plates to each of them, asking them to sit there and eat. The two boys felt shy and rejected the offer at first but the woman kept insisting and then they accepted it. She smiled when she saw how they eat the food wholeheartedly. She felt as if her two late sons are there with her at the moment. She then went back to continue baking the bread to sell. After a while, the two boys finished eating and they handed back the plates. They say thank you to the woman. They stand there in the window of her kiosk just to look at her made the dough for the bread. They observed how she made a phone call to somebody from distance that she called with a lovely name. The woman is talking about how she missed her two late baby boys and how they would look like if they still alive.
After the lady finished her phone call, the two boys called to her to excuse themselves and say farewell to the woman. The woman says goodbye to them. But before they left, the boy who is a bit elder tell her:
’Please do not be sad mom…. We both are always watching you from the heaven…’
The woman stood freeze for a while as if the world has Just stopped. She felt blank. She tried to call them back but they had disappeared nowhere to know. She did not know what to do next. She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. In her euphoria, she took a box of candles and light the candles in the Oratorio and started to pray for her two angel-son’s soul.
Dedicated to Two Brothers in Heaven VZ
*Kiosk = small grocery shop
**Oratorio = a miniature praying house
VZ, Dili, 31 Oct 2017