It’s been a long time for this solitude accompanying my heart
Leaving me with all the longings
That took me to an imaginary world
Then how would it be when he return?
And finally it is the time
To end this waiting
Time has brought various gifts about him
Among all the good things and all the beautiful fruits of his dream
And so I am happy
When I saw that time also brought another reality
Not in line with my wish
But it is his wish
And I could not say no
Thus I should let go
Do not come to me anymore…
Flaunting your beauty and success
Do not even greet me…
As that voice of yours would shatter my heart again
Do not give me your laughter…
As I am afraid this feeling might woke me up again
From my ignorant sleepiness
That I have built
On the tomb of love I built in my heart
And so let it be.
Dili, February 24, 2014
Talita kum, my Soul
For you are the true essence
Of my abstract life
The basic substance
on the fuel of my machine body
With you I found my reason to live
Talita kum, my mind
For you are the fuel
That joints all my body spareparts
I know I am not a merely a fucking life machine.
Talita kum, my body
For you are the outer body part of me, a machine
I am a machine designed for life
To entertain life is my aim
But I am more than a machine
I do not wanted to be machine at all
So go fight that controller
Beat it to your feet
Let you be its controller
Talita kum… talita kum..
Oh my body
and my soul.
Every morning, the universe pour the hot wisdom tea from its teapot to my small tea glass.
I have to wait till it gets warm before I could sip it slowly to finish.
Sometimes, I also have to blow it so I can inhale its smell.
If I drink it at one gulp, then I will not truly feel its sweetness.
It’s 10 pm, you already fell asleep
It’s 12 am, and my mind cannot sleep
I tossed to left, I tossed to right
Still I cannot get myself right
On this cotton bed cover
I shed my tears, getting myself uncover
I know you do hear me sobbing
But your ears may have no opening
Here, in our bedroom, I am crying
But here, also in our bedroom, you remain deafening.
Everyone of us is a footprint
People will step on us
Some will look down to us for a glance
Some will just ignore it
This ocean is very wide
And I am a very small boat
From this shoreline I look
The waves sometimes slam with anger
The waves sometimes are silent and do not care at all
Listen to the singing wind
Sometimes it screams
Sometimes it whispers
Seeing the farewell of the sun
Remaining with myself’s company in a solitude
I am a boat, a very small one and alone.
Lecidere, April 2016
“A Very Small Boat” https://medium.com/@vitaliaze/a-very-small-boat-c766fbd7654b
To my fellow women
Rising up again
We exist for a great meaning!
Do not be afraid!
Keep moving ahead!
Dili, 8 March 2018
Happy International Women’s Day.
I was blind when I met you
I could not see how bad or good looking you were
All I could do was feeling you in my touch
Listening to your voices, your laugh, your sigh
In my blindness, I had painted you beautifully in my mind
I loved to be with you every day, every hour, every minute
Coz every moment with you was magical
I forgot the whole world
Everytime you called my name
Then a yard of spring flowers blossomed in my heart
Butterflies flies upon the flowers everytime you kissed me
That feeling called ‘love’ blossomed wildly there
I was extremely happy
My blindness was nothing with you being mine
Then one day my eyes could see
I looked for you, you were nowhere to find
My world turned dark
As I could see it clearly now
There is no you, nor your love
I was blind so did my love to you.