My Curve

My curve is the first curve you felt when you were still a baby. The first curve you touched with your mouth looking for breastmilk. The first curve you smelled and you have been calling it ‘mother’ to remember it forever.

As you grew, you learnt about every shape of my curve whenever you saw me in front of your eyes, naked or fully dressed. That was the beginning of how you praise me from all the women and at the same time you got scared too because you heard that my beauty will not last.

Little did you know, that, my outer beauty is just a shell covering my deepest inner beauty. But you do not want to go deep into myself to explore me.

Then, everytime you saw me showing my beauty through my boldness, outspoken, persevereness,resilience, fierce,wise, charm or calm, you mocked me with your cowardness to turn me down with your power of patriarchy.

Dili, October 2018

Talita kum

Talita kum, my Soul

For you are the true essence

Of my abstract life

The basic substance

on the fuel of my machine body

With you I found my reason to live

Talita kum, my mind

For you are the fuel

That joints all my body spareparts

With you,

I know I am not a merely a fucking life machine.

Talita kum, my body

For you are the outer body part of me, a machine

I am a machine designed for life

To entertain life is my aim

But I am more than a machine

I do not wanted to be machine at all

So go fight that controller

Beat it to your feet

Let you be its controller

Talita kum… talita kum.. 

Oh my body

my mind 

and my soul.

Chakras5

For A Bun of Bread

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Do wake up early before the sunrise

Get yourself ready to school

Do study hard everyday and do not you be lazy

Because only with all of this

One day you will earn a bun of bread in your hand

And so my mum advised me.

Later as I grow up, I got a decent job after spending many years at school and college.

Mum said ‘see, you did earn your one bun of bread now’.

I smiled briefly but then inside me, I realized that I am longing for another bun of bread. Perhaps the one that I have not found yet.

VZ

Dili, 16/1/2018

Honesty is Expensive (poem)

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Honesty is indeed very expensive!

To be honest in the truth costs a lot!

When you follow the advice of the honesty,

You will receive the offends, hatred.

People say

‘You are an arrogant, an idiot, you do not know anything,

Go away!”

‘Don’t you be too saint’, ‘Don’t you be too innocent’

‘Let the lie commands thus everything may run well’

‘Who do you think you are?’

Yes, it is true, brothers and sisters…

A lie is cheap and easy and it makes everything go well

We smile at each other

We call each other ‘friend’

However, who wants to imprison his heart until the very last breath?

Is it you or I?

Dear brothers and sisters…

Honesty for the truth is expensive

But it gives the freedom to the life!

VZ, March 24, 2016

The International Women’s Day: Every Day is Women Day!

 

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Foto: Women and girls waiting for public transportation in Colmera Street, Dili (VZ)

 

That morning, I came to work as usual and realized that it was March 8th, the date celebrated as the international women’s day. When I entered the office, one of my office colleague, a public health doctorate from Srilanka, was coming after me and then I greeted her saying “Happy International Women’s day, doctor’.

She gave me a brief laugh and then she replied me “thank you so much, but for me, every day is women’s day’. She said so with a sweet smile carved on her face, a figure that already entered the age of sixty yet she remains energetic as a fifteen years old teenager.

After that, we parted to do our daily office duty, but I kept thinking about her last soft sarcastic words ‘For me, every day is women’s day.’ That simple phrase has hit my perception towards the celebration of international women’s day, which celebrated worldwide in various ways.

Historically, the celebration of international women’s day begun in 1909, when the United Nations observed the first National Women’s day on February 28th in America. That time, the Socialist Party in America decided to celebrate the day in order to honor the women garment workers strike in 1908 for their act of protest against the working conditions provided to them.

Later, in 1910, a meeting of International Socialists in Copenhagen established the International Women’s day to honor the women rights movement and to build the support for women’s suffrage.  The proposal gained unanimous approval from nearly 100 women members from 17 countries at the conference but the fixed date was therefore not determined.

In 1911, as the result of initiative in Copenhagen, the international women’s day was marked for the first time on March 19th in Austria, Denmark, Germany, and Switzerland, which celebrated with a rally participated by almost one million people of men and women. The rally insisted for the right to vote, hold public office position, right to work, to have vocational training and to end the discrimination at the workplace.

However, in 1913-1914, the international women’s day also becomes a means to protest against the First World War and other wars, while in 1917, in protest against the war, the women in Russian held a protest and conduct a strike for the Bread and Peace act thus made the Russian Czar, who soon approve the women’s rights to vote.  In 1975, the United Nations started celebrating the International Women’s Day on March 8 which later followed by various agencies and cooperation body continues supporting the celebration with various objectives and goals.

Back to the day, the celebration of International Women’s Day throughout Timor-Leste is generally identical with ceremonial acts lead by the government institutions, civil societies, and the international cooperating bodies. The ceremonial act would be filled with official discourse, which later ended with various festivity means.  Meanwhile, the TV news, newspaper, and social media or the internet displayed the beautiful messages and quotes about women as well as in the social media timelines, TV screens and on the billboards and banners all around the city.

On Friday 9 March, there was an interesting event held at Timor-Plaza called #HeforShe, which organized the cooking competition participated by men representatives from agencies and government institution. The competition demonstrated cooking the meal as an advocacy to the Timorese men that cooking task is indeed not only the women’s domestic task but also can be men’s task since men can also cook. The concept for this event indeed has become an anti-thesis to the patriarchal system in Timor-Leste, which emphasizes that cooking is only women’s task.  In participating this event, I had a conversation with an activist male friend from Indonesia. He described that normally during the event of international women’s day, the women movement in some countries would organize a strike on that day or held a march to insist the rights they felt the government has not provided them yet.

Comparing to the events in Timor-Leste that mostly celebrated in ceremonial ways, a question then rose in my mind. Do the women felt the true meaning of this celebration? On the other hand, perhaps the celebration is only an event with cliché significance while in Timor-Leste the issues on women continue to increase. These includes issues such as the domestic violence issues, sexual harassment, and abuse both psychological and physical,  lack of security for women when going out at night from school, offices or homes and lack of access to education and information for women to develop their capacity and so on. However, the campaign to eradicate and improve these issues may continue going on but if we meet these women directly or read the news from the newspaper, we would continue to hear the laments on these issues.

From these issues, the involvement of men (and as well as the women) as perpetrators is high thus there should be a question to the men on how do they feel the importance of the international women day? Generally, when we walk along the street, we will continue to find out how the boys like to disturb girls, abuse and tease them when these girls walk along the street, instead of talking to these girls with respect. Some girls have to drop out from school due to early pregnancy because of lack of information on sexual education that still becomes a taboo material or because of unsafe sex practice. The women, who become victims of sexual abuse or domestic violence in the family or society, have not obtained the proper treatment. Some women have to stop working when there is no enough support to take care of the children, whereas some other women, also have to trade off their time to work and leave their children at home in order to support the husband or family  to earn money to meet the family’s economical needs since nowadays in Dili, life become more expensive and prices of commodities continue to rise.

These problems may seem superficial while the more deep issues may still lie underneath and are undiscovered yet. The slogan ‘Strong Women Strong Nation’ may need to be reviewed and reflected deeply whether the Timorese women so far has been that strong. How can the government, society and the individuals contribute to empower and strengthen the women?

Thinking about my Indonesian activist friend’s story, I realized that on March 8 I supposed to take a whole day leave and staying at home but instead I continue went to work at the office. I was thinking that on that day, supposedly the Timorese women who work at the office should be allowed to leave for the whole day. However, in the context of Timor-Leste, I have a sense that even if the government does allow the women employees to take leave, these women will still continue to work at home doing the household chores and run other family and social responsibilities tasks.  Since Timorese women hereby have a crucial role in the family and society, regardless of their engagement at office work, at the end of the day, they would never be separated from their role and will continue to undertake the domestic responsibilities, which are higher compared to men. Consequently, perhaps as according to my Srilankan colleague has said maybe it is true, ‘Every day is women day!’

Finally, yet importantly, I would like to extend my congratulation for all the women fellows all around the world and I hope that you continue to be strong!

 

VZ, Dili 8 Mar 2017

Who is A Woman for You?

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Image: Google source https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=322289

(Tetum-English translated version poem ‘Se Mak Feto Ba O?’. Dedication to the International Women’s Day on March 8)

I.

When she walks along the street

You gaze at her with lust, and then you whistle and call her ‘beautiful’!

When she does not turn around, you call her ‘arrogant’  

If she does turn around, then in hasty, you turn out mute completely

Like the hand that hides away, right after throwing a stone

If you do want to praise her, dignify her with respect instead.

II.

You call her ‘darling’ then take her to the beach

You promise her the dream of tomorrow in exchange for her trust

In the sweet words, you ask her to give her whole self to you

Somehow, this is not what she actually seeks.

She does need your hands, to push her facing the mystery of tomorrow

Show her instead, how can she not surrender to chase the dream?

III.

You call her ‘daughter’ from your own flesh and blood

Yet your love is greater for the son only

You teach her, that her destiny is to serve

You value her youth with earthly wealth

At the end, she bears the entire burden alone

Because of the one who do not value her with a vow of true love

IV.

You call her ‘wife’, the one who should fear and serve you until her last breath

You are therefore her possessor, as the dowry has been handed over

Indeed, your dowry is no more precious than her soul, a most beautiful soul of all

To you, she is a whole life companion, a companion for your body, heart, and soul

With her faith, hope, and perseverance

Despite most of the times, you throw and slap her with your own fear and anger

With sharp hands and words, you hurt her body and soul

Then you let her heal her pain alone

Why do you not guard her, as does the tree sheltering the flower?

V.

Who is a woman for you?

Have you tried to understand her in your mind and your soul?

What else things you found? Do ask!

VZ, Dili, March  4th,  2016

Siapakah Wanita Bagimu?

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https://www.theodysseyonline.com/ways-hurt-ourselves

(Puisi terjemahan Tetum-English ‘Se Mak feto ba O?’ Dedikasi untuk Hari Wanita Internasional  March 8)

I

Ketika dia berjalan menyusuri jalanan

Matamu memandangnya bernafsu, kau bersiul dan panggil dia ‘Cantik!’

Ketika dia tak menoleh, kau bilang dia ‘sombong’

Jika dia menoleh, kaupun membisu seketika.

Bagai tangan yang sembunyi habis melempar batu

Bila kau ingin memujanya, muliakanlah dia dengan  hormat.

II

Kau panggil dia ‘kekasih’, kau bawa dia ke pantai

Kau janjikan mimpi hari esok tuk menangkan percayanya.

Dalam manisnya kata, kau minta dia serahkan diri, seluruhnya untukmu.

Tapi bukanlah ini yang dia cari.

Dia butuh tangamu, untuk mendorongnya hadapi misteri hari esok

Tunjukkan padanya, bagaimana agar tak menyerah mengejar mimpi?

III

Kau panggil dia ‘putri’ dari darah dagingmu sendiri

Namun cintamu lebih besar untuk sang putra saja.

Kau ajari dia, bahwa takdirnya adalah melayani

Kau hargakan kemudaannya dengan harta benda duniawi.

Pada akhirnya, dia sendiri yang menanggung semua beban

Oleh sebab seorang yang tak hargai dia dengan janji cinta sejati.

IV

Kau panggil dia ’istri’, patutlah ia takut dan layani kau sampai mati.

Kaulah pemiliknya, sebab mahar telah diserahkan

Padahal maharmu tak lebih berharga dari jiwanya, jiwa yang lebih indah dari segalanya.

Dia temani kau sepanjang hidup, dengan tubuh, hati dan jiwanya

Dengan keyakinan, harapan dan keteguhannya.

Walau sering kau lempar dan tampar dia, dengan takutmu dan amarahmu sendiri

Dengan tangan dan kata-kata tajam kau lukai tubuh dan jiwanya

Lalu kau biarkan dia sembuhkan diri sendirian

Mengapa tidak kau jaga dia seperti pohon menaungi bunga?

V

Siapakah wanita bagimu?

Sudahkah  kau coba pahami dia dalam pikiran dan perasaanmu?

Apa saja yang kau temukan? Tanyalah!

 

VZ, Dili, 4 Maret 2016