‘Hey listen,
I like Argentina.’
‘You like Brazil?
‘He likes France.’
‘She likes Germany.’
‘We like Italy…’
‘You like Mexico?’
‘They like Portugal.’
‘Each of us with our preferences, right?’

Every night, here we gather
In front of a TV screen belongs to a decent neighbour.
Watching the soccer match starts
scanning who the players are
judging how well they perform
betting which team will won at last
Yelling when one shoots the goal
Cursing when one cannot make it
Counting the time slot, analyzing the penalty, describing the match. Dramatically.
‘It is fun. It is intense. Stimulating. Dissappointing’. Everybody comment.
For almost a month will we bound to this gathering
As this is the month of World Cup
With a hot Timor coffee served in the plastic cup
By the mumbling wife of the TV owner.


Villa-verde, 19/6/2018.




One day, everything will reveal itself
The beauty, the ugliness
Both at the same time
Then you will come by
Admiring both of them.

Karimbala (Maliana), 15/6/2018



A Defensive Mouthful One 

There is a person that is mouthful. He or she has a mouth full of everything. Praise and curse, encourage and discourage, wise and unwise words, advise and misadvise, news and gossips, tips and corrections, judgements and comprehension. This person has all of them kept in his/her mouth.

One moment, your path crossed with him/her. Sometimes, you get along well with his/her mouthful outcomes. Sometimes you feel fed up. But this is just his/her being a mouthful.

She/he loves to get your eyes to look at her/his mouth, how that lip moves when he/she talks things out about everything. About anything. She/he doesn’t care whether you like things the lips excreted or not. Even the shitty things that sounds stink to your mind. He/she doesn’t care at all.

One day, you feel that you are tired to listen to all things his/her mouth excrets to you. You just felt bored of all repeated things his/her mouth kepr saying, over and over again. 

Another day, you had a misunderstood with him/her. You came to him/her to sort out things. But he/she rejected to accept that. She then used his/her mouthful being to perform a selfish self-defwnse mechanism against you. In fact, that was you meant to be. You wanted him/her to listen fully with earful ears before giving you some ideas through his/her mouth.

You have a look on him/her looking for those ears. Gosh! In fact, he/she does not have ears at all.



Dili, 6/2018

How I knew Poetry.

I knew poetry: 

when I spoke for the first time in one two words

when I cried and laughed with the family and friends whom we used to play together

when I learnt in primary school during the class of Language from a grumpy teacher

When I read an old romance novel that drunkened its character with love and I found Gibran’s work to capture my heart right away

when I watched movie of poetry with full of amazing scenes

when I listened to music’s lyric and its melodies took away my mind flying to the land of faraway

when I first time introduced to a puppy love. I had crush for someone, dated him until one day we broke up. I tried tell myself that ‘I am fine’ but in fact ‘I am not’.

when I started to move on as an adolescent, I told myself to study hard and to chase my dreams

when I got a job that made me famous but then it made me inquired myself, ‘why do I work?’

when I enter the marriage life which is never always full of roses and fruit but there are also some thorns included

when I met every soul that told me their stories and begged me to feel them and then I asked my soul, why do I come to this world?

From all of these, I knew poetry.

Poetry is everyone and everything in our daily life.

Poetry is the spring and my inquirer soul is longing to drink its fresh water.

Dili, 4/2018

Tomb Raider and How I See Lara Croft as an Ideal Woman

tomb raider movie posters compared alicia vikander angelina jolie

I first time watched Tomb Raider when I was in my teenage year and studied in grade 8th of junior high school back in 2002. I watched it in a format of CD that was bought randomly by my father along with other movie CDs from local market in Lospalos, one the post administrative city in Lautem municipality in Timor-Leste. My father does not speak nor understand English at all but he loves to watch Hollywood action movies along with Chinese, Thai, Japanese or Indonesian action movies that he thinks interesting.

As I pick the CD to play, the cover captured me as it displayed how gorgeous Angelina Jolie is as Lara Croft. Growing up as 90s generation, most Hollywood action movies or series I have watched from TVs starred male as hero and I was only familiar with one TV action serial starred women as hero character named Xena.

Then I play the CD and watched the movie of Tomb Raider for the first time in my leisure time as a retreat session. The opening scene going on, I was amazed with how Lara Croft did the fighting exercise with robots and her fighting was as fierce as male hero in any action movie I have watched. As the movie going on, I noticed that she is also a rich daughter of inherited a big mansion from her father Lord Richard Croft, a well known scientist and rich man in England. Then it is revealed that Lara’s father is a member of secret society named Trinity and he has kept all the secrets to her daughter to find out one day. The secret is the heart of pyramid which has been split and hidden in two secretive location and Lara has to find them before the Trinity find them.

Lara Croft depicted by Angelina Jolie featured an elegant, rich, gorgeous and adventurous woman with multi-talent skills on physical and intellectual skills exercise. This appeared to me as a teenage girl that time that an ideal woman should be like Lara Croft having a gorgeous with a perfect body, rich, elegant, intelligent and skillful. I started to dream being an beautiful, skillful and rich woman when I grow up. After watching that movie, I started to check myself in the mirror more often to check if I am beautiful enough. I was disappointed. I don’t have face feature of Lara Croft, her perfectly postured and curvy body, her sensual voice, her elegant style nor her lavish rich as an heiress. I am just a simple teenage girl with brown skin, medium height and a little bit chubby face. I did not realize that having a perfect combination of Lara Croft near to perfection beauty is indeed just an illusion.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholders. I wish I grasp this thought that time. I wish I have many people told me that I am beautiful as I am. Growing in society where one is determined by his/her outer appearance and that a women with fairest skin is more beautiful than brown skin and that tall slender women is more sexy than curvy and short women made me felt awful with how I look at myself. However, I continue to admire Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft but at the same I keep telling myself that wishing to be like Angelina Jolie is delusional.

Then after many years, growing up as adolescent, learning about feminism and self acceptance I started to realize that beauty is indeed a relative concept. Beauty is indeed not depends on how others see you but how you feel that concept on yourself and this is the challenge that many people today are still striving for as the concept of beauty is still dominated by the society’s judgement and only few people who are brave enough to stand against the normative prejudice and shine their beauty according to their beliefs.

Later, this year, after watching the new remake of Tomb Raider movie and the character of Lara Croft portrayed by Alicia Vikander, I was stunned. This time, the new version of Lara Croft is different although she still has that beauty, skills in sport and boxing and being an heiress of the Croft. The new Tomb Raider portrayed Lara Croft in a more realistic way where she is a rebellious girl with loving heart for her father, she is also not that invincible in fighting and easily defeated but she has a big courage for a dangerous adventure that she won at last after facing many evils. This is where I found that a woman’s beauty should be portrayed not only in her physical appearance but to show her intellectual, inner strength and her compassion when facing difficult situation. This is what I would like people to see in me as a woman.

However, once again, it’s OK to dream or not to dream being a Lara Croft however it is important to understand that beauty is something that is not limited to physical appearance but to look to deep to the inner strength being a woman. This is the core message we need to convey to the girls to empower their self esteem and self acceptance.


I live in Dili (Timor-Leste). I love reading, writing, watching movie, listen to music and do photography for fun.

Kani Mayo

Kani mayo is japanese salad menu I taste in a local Japanese restaurant in Dili, Timor-leste. 

Kani mayo has minced crabs with spices and mayonaise. As it is a salad menu it is made as spicy yet sweet. It has soft texture and melt well when eaten. I ate it with a bowl of gohan (rice) during my lunch. 

Dili, 4/2018

The fall of a banyan leaf

It has been long time that a banyan leaf question herself how does it feel to fall down to the ground.

It is because everyday the banyan leaf usually look down to the ground and stare at it without saying any word.

Once a banyan leaf asks its trunk if it can go down to the ground and comes back later. The tree trunk answers ‘your time will come. Because once you go down, you will never come back up here’.


Everyone of us is a footprint

People will step on us

Some will look down to us for a glance

Some will just ignore it
Mascarenhas, 3/2018