Last night, before laying down to sleep, I created a mental alarm in my mind to wake up early at 5 am tomorrow. And this morning, I did woke up at the planned hour with light feeling and I felt so amazing as if I just woke up after a thousand year of sleep .
Since the past months of last year, I have been rarely wake up early in the morning before 6 am and instead I usually woke up at 7 to 8.30 am with a heavy sleepy head and sticky eyes. After waking up from bed with such condition, I would rush my self to do everything as instant as possible. Measure, wash and cook the rice on rice-cooker and while it is plugged on I would made the bedroom, swept the floor, boil water in the electric kettle while thinking about what to wear today to office and whether I should iron the clothes I choose.
I would then continue rush myself into bathing quickly, brush my teeth (and wash my hair if necessary), wash the underwear and drip-drying them onto the clothes line. After that, I would run into the room quickly to dry myself from the remaining bathing water drops with the towel, applied some lotion in body before I could change the clothes and get myself ready as quickly as possible as if I am chasing by somebody in this such a rush. I would style my hair in the most simple hair style, mostly clipped or tied high bun and put some bobby pins in my front head hair to make the calm the flying strands. I had a curly hair with flying strands. After the hair do, the next thing is make up and to minimize time I would only apply moisturizer and a lib gloss and the last touch is to spray a perfume before grabbing my bag and the wet towel when went out from the room and locked it. I would choose my pair shoes-of-day, mostly flat shoes or sandals with low heels and after hang the towel onto the clothes line to let it dry, I would leave the house to office with a sun-glass covering my eyes from the hot weather in Dili, Timor-Leste.
Such a rushing messy morning. After staying in office the whole day and deal with a lot of work stress and life stress, I would go home drained and exhausted. I do drink water to hydrate myself but not as mush as it should be to hydrate a drained person. I would take a bath, change clothes, prepare dinner or do some shopping at the nearby shops before preparing dinner. After dinner is ready, I would eat or drink a light junk-food while trying to have a conversation with my partner which turned to be a very short dialogue with no further interactions. My partner would be busy with his phone in the attempt to avoid the serious conversation that may turn down his mood of discussing and analyzing issues in our relationship. With such response, I would automatically letting him know that dinner is ready and we both would eat in silence sometimes watching some boring TV channels. After dinner, I would expect my partner to wash the dish which sometimes made him gaze me in an unpleasant look. But he did do the dishes afterward.
After watching his favorite channel, he would then lay down in the bed leaving a space for me while I turned off the light. I crawled onto the bed and sleep with my back turned to him who also turned his back to me as if we both are forming letter X with our bodies. While he is snoring in the deep sleep, my eyes are wide open evaluating how I have spent my days in exhaustion. Why I felt as if I am dragged? Why I have to sleep tonight and go to work tomorrow to repeat the routine and many more why come to my mind until I realized it has been 12.00 am and I should force my eyes to shut down for sleep. It continued remain like that for many months and I know for sure that I have been indulging myself into the bad habit of sleep. Tomorrow, I will be wake up in a sleep head again.
Today, as I started my first week of the new year, I realized I have to change the habit chain. As I woke up, I could hear the bird chirping, the local vegetables sellers playing the musing loudly from their sales cart. I woke up, evaluate my feeling and I feel better. Much better though I do not know what will happen today. I went out to catch the veggies salesman to buy some vegetables which cost me only 1 USD. Now, I realized that if continue to wake up at this hour I could catch cheaper vegetables sellers and thus help this local seller to earn income rather that I purchase from big Chinese shop who charged extra costs to the local vegetables the sell. I started cooking rice and prepare my lunch box, I drink a glass of water and repeat other routines. My partner still sleeping for he is taking annual leave. Oh how I wish I could extend my annual leave which I have to end due to some important tasks in this week. I bring an apple with me for breakfast at the office, unfortunately I could not manage to prepare a decent one.
At the office, I felt that I could cope better with the atmosphere. There were less pressures but I know this is because it is the beginning of the year. The real pressures will come along during the whole year and I know I have to be ready to bear it. Perhaps, one way to anticipate is to wake up early in the morning at 5 am like today.
#notetoself #shortstory #dailylife
Dili, January 2019